Dear sister, I messed up

I remember telling my sister I was moving from Stockholm to California for school.

She couldn’t believe it.

She was happy for me, of course –

But it didn’t seem real.

You’re, like, actually leaving? Moving across the world?

Yes, we’re sisters.

But we’re also soulmates.

Best friends.

Each other’s most important support system.

We had never lived apart or even been apart for more than a few nights ever before.

It’s like we’re one, but living in two different bodies.

As I’ve always said – you don’t really know me unless you know her.

Living oceans apart meant a 9 hour time difference.

It meant living different lives and at different times.

Going from sharing every second of our lives with each other to not really being able to do that lead me to feeling trapped.

Sometimes lonely.

I wanted to share my experience with her.

I wanted her to take part of the lessons I learned, as I was learning them.

Doing what I always do when I’m feeling those things – I turned to writing.

I wrote to her.

Here is me, reading some of what I wrote during those two years away from home.

Oh, and today is her 22nd birthday.

Happy birthday Jana,

I love you.


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